To watch the video of this podcast, click here.
Why is life so hard for the follower of Jesus? One sad element that is too common today is loneliness and isolation. What can you do if you are experiencing the pain of being alone and feeling that no one knows you? There is much you can do through the power and provision of our merciful Father. We are talking about the Connection Rhythm.
The Connection Rhythm emanates from the truth that we are created in the image of God—and the Lord of all life is relational by definition. He is the three-in-one God, who is and demonstrates the life-giving nature of close relationships.
There are things in life that interfere with life-giving relationships. They are things we chose, or that Satan brings upon us, or both.
In Episode 4 we discussed “light” issues, including the problem of the blue spectrum light that is emitted by smartphones and other devices.
The light isn’t the only problem with devices. Isolation and loneliness are enhanced through them.
Strange, isn’t it? We talk about how our phones connect us but improperly prioritized they increase our isolation. How does that happen? What other factors play into our loneliness?
Smartphones are compelling and addictive, they keep our heads down. Go out in public and just look around (yeah, do not have your phone out!). Look at the people bowed before their phones in a worshipful pose. Notice how very few people make eye contact or initiate conversations with those they are around.
For that matter, notice how many lovers and families are out where they are sitting at a table or park bench, all with their phones out—very little connection.
Why is our life so hard in the area of isolation and loneliness? Because we are heads down. We have lost the art of conversation.
Most of us have never been taught to converse. If someone when you were young actually sat down and taught you how to initiate and sustain conversation, you are blessed! I had to learn how by reading books.
I was a lonely and isolated teen and was hurting bad. I wanted more friends and I needed someone to converse with. I started learning how to start conversations when a high school ROTC sergeant read the old classic book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie.
My motive was selfish, it was initially about what I wanted. The key point of Carnegie in his book is that if you want to start conversations and be regarded as a great conversationalist, ask people about themselves. As a very shy but desperate 17-year-old I just waded into this unfamiliar territory—with great results.
Fairly quickly I had people smiling at me and coming to talk to me! They needed to share what was on their hearts, and then most at some point would show this trait we call reciprocity and ask me how I was doing. Mission accomplished?
Yes, and more. While my initial motives were selfish, as I asked people about them—and as I listened I made a discovery. People are not who they appear to be. Everyone has a story. I found myself encouraged by these new friends when I understood the challenges and hurts they faced and yet continued to smile and go on with life.
Why is life so hard? Why are we lonely and isolated? Perhaps because we do not know how (we’ve never been trained) and we do not know the beauty of changing from an inward focused person to someone who pulls others into our heart.
Isolation and loneliness feeds on itself. If we are lonely, we tend to be focused inward on our own pain. We look at others with their friends and may feel resentful, “Why doesn’t anyone see me?”
You know what, a lot of the other people are in reality very lonely and isolated, even those who are surrounded by people.
Many of us today are afraid to be genuine and trust others with us—and so even though we may be around people, we are not sharing who and where we are. We present an image much like a selfie to others, carefully crafted and curated to give others the impression that we are successful and need nothing.
Yet we are designed by our Creator to relate. We must trust God and others with who we are.
When we don’t, we find ourselves down (depressed) by our situation. Because we are depressed, we do not “feel” like initiating contacts with others. We have no desire to leave the house to join or be with our church family, local choir, bowling league, or even go to the neighborhood cookout.
Why is life so hard? In the area of loneliness, if you let it, your loneliness feeds more loneliness.
Depression feeds on itself too. This is pretty much the same thing, but it needs to be said. One of the most common symptoms of depression is low energy and not feeling like getting up and doing what we know needs to be done.
The answer to that…is hard. It involves exercising the volition to choose to live according to the Spirit, rather than the flesh. The Apostle Paul talks about this in Romans 8:3-8. He notes, “For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.”
Life and peace—life includes connection with others. Connection with others is life-giving, nourishing, and necessary.
Setting your mind on the Spirit involves doing what is right spiritually, and reaching out to others in love and for love is right spiritually. The depressed person says, “But I don’t feel like it!”
I know, but in the power that God gives, that he works through you, he will enable you to be who he wants you to be.
That is the whole point of my book, Superhero: Being Who God Says You Are. Get the book for a plan of how to live in the Spirit and be the conquering and connected hero your Maker intends you to be.
Why is life so hard? Because the loneliness, isolation, and depression tend to feed on one another. Left unopposed, it can degrade into a downward spiral of mood. But we have to choose the spiritual path, and we can only find victory through the power of Christ in us. (Eph. 1:19)
Why is life so hard? Why are we lonely and isolated? Because the enemy of our God has a plan. And because in his plan we choose fear, devices, and comfort (the flesh) over the provisions of God’s Creation Rhythms.
Let’s start today in the power of God to choose well…
(Image by Ake Ngiamsanguan/IStockphoto)
Why is Life So Hard, Ep. 4 — Loneliness and Isolation
Last Updated: January 15, 2025 by Stephen K. Moore · Leave a Comment
To watch the video of this podcast, click here.
Why is life so hard for the follower of Jesus? One sad element that is too common today is loneliness and isolation. What can you do if you are experiencing the pain of being alone and feeling that no one knows you? There is much you can do through the power and provision of our merciful Father. We are talking about the Connection Rhythm.
The Connection Rhythm emanates from the truth that we are created in the image of God—and the Lord of all life is relational by definition. He is the three-in-one God, who is and demonstrates the life-giving nature of close relationships.
There are things in life that interfere with life-giving relationships. They are things we chose, or that Satan brings upon us, or both.
In Episode 4 we discussed “light” issues, including the problem of the blue spectrum light that is emitted by smartphones and other devices.
The light isn’t the only problem with devices. Isolation and loneliness are enhanced through them.
Strange, isn’t it? We talk about how our phones connect us but improperly prioritized they increase our isolation. How does that happen? What other factors play into our loneliness?
Smartphones are compelling and addictive, they keep our heads down. Go out in public and just look around (yeah, do not have your phone out!). Look at the people bowed before their phones in a worshipful pose. Notice how very few people make eye contact or initiate conversations with those they are around.
For that matter, notice how many lovers and families are out where they are sitting at a table or park bench, all with their phones out—very little connection.
Why is our life so hard in the area of isolation and loneliness? Because we are heads down. We have lost the art of conversation.
Most of us have never been taught to converse. If someone when you were young actually sat down and taught you how to initiate and sustain conversation, you are blessed! I had to learn how by reading books.
I was a lonely and isolated teen and was hurting bad. I wanted more friends and I needed someone to converse with. I started learning how to start conversations when a high school ROTC sergeant read the old classic book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie.
My motive was selfish, it was initially about what I wanted. The key point of Carnegie in his book is that if you want to start conversations and be regarded as a great conversationalist, ask people about themselves. As a very shy but desperate 17-year-old I just waded into this unfamiliar territory—with great results.
Fairly quickly I had people smiling at me and coming to talk to me! They needed to share what was on their hearts, and then most at some point would show this trait we call reciprocity and ask me how I was doing. Mission accomplished?
Yes, and more. While my initial motives were selfish, as I asked people about them—and as I listened I made a discovery. People are not who they appear to be. Everyone has a story. I found myself encouraged by these new friends when I understood the challenges and hurts they faced and yet continued to smile and go on with life.
Why is life so hard? Why are we lonely and isolated? Perhaps because we do not know how (we’ve never been trained) and we do not know the beauty of changing from an inward focused person to someone who pulls others into our heart.
Isolation and loneliness feeds on itself. If we are lonely, we tend to be focused inward on our own pain. We look at others with their friends and may feel resentful, “Why doesn’t anyone see me?”
You know what, a lot of the other people are in reality very lonely and isolated, even those who are surrounded by people.
Many of us today are afraid to be genuine and trust others with us—and so even though we may be around people, we are not sharing who and where we are. We present an image much like a selfie to others, carefully crafted and curated to give others the impression that we are successful and need nothing.
Yet we are designed by our Creator to relate. We must trust God and others with who we are.
When we don’t, we find ourselves down (depressed) by our situation. Because we are depressed, we do not “feel” like initiating contacts with others. We have no desire to leave the house to join or be with our church family, local choir, bowling league, or even go to the neighborhood cookout.
Why is life so hard? In the area of loneliness, if you let it, your loneliness feeds more loneliness.
Depression feeds on itself too. This is pretty much the same thing, but it needs to be said. One of the most common symptoms of depression is low energy and not feeling like getting up and doing what we know needs to be done.
The answer to that…is hard. It involves exercising the volition to choose to live according to the Spirit, rather than the flesh. The Apostle Paul talks about this in Romans 8:3-8. He notes, “For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.”
Life and peace—life includes connection with others. Connection with others is life-giving, nourishing, and necessary.
Setting your mind on the Spirit involves doing what is right spiritually, and reaching out to others in love and for love is right spiritually. The depressed person says, “But I don’t feel like it!”
I know, but in the power that God gives, that he works through you, he will enable you to be who he wants you to be.
That is the whole point of my book, Superhero: Being Who God Says You Are. Get the book for a plan of how to live in the Spirit and be the conquering and connected hero your Maker intends you to be.
Why is life so hard? Because the loneliness, isolation, and depression tend to feed on one another. Left unopposed, it can degrade into a downward spiral of mood. But we have to choose the spiritual path, and we can only find victory through the power of Christ in us. (Eph. 1:19)
Why is life so hard? Why are we lonely and isolated? Because the enemy of our God has a plan. And because in his plan we choose fear, devices, and comfort (the flesh) over the provisions of God’s Creation Rhythms.
Let’s start today in the power of God to choose well…
(Image by Ake Ngiamsanguan/IStockphoto)
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